World Center of the Dog

It has come to my attention that the Headquarters of the United Nations may be relocating outside of the United States. Although I’ve never done post-graduate work in geopolitics, I do listen to NPR regularly, and consider myself something of an Armchair Geopolitical Maven. With that in mind, I offer this humble suggestion:

As the HQ of the UN moves to God-Knows-Where, the current UN building (actually a complex) will be standing empty. I would like to suggest that it become the official World Center of the Dog; a gathering place for dogs and those who love them. It will be a place of scholarship, of meditation, and of elegance. Oh, and also a place of treats. And plenty of peanut butter, every afternoon at 3:00.

The UN complex was completed in the 1950’s--a terrific era for design, if you like pink Formica counter-tops and boomerang-shaped coffee tables. I’m thinking perhaps we could benefit from a little less of the European Modernist style, and a little more of what I like to think of as the “New American Dog Aesthetic.”

My plan will feature a complete cleaning and restoration of the exterior and interior spaces, with many spaces being converted to ceremonial purposes. Perhaps a labyrinth on the lawn, with plenty of user-friendly shrubs. Old office space can be renovated for galleries, spas, and meeting rooms. There will also be a 1500-seat auditorium with state of-the art projection facilities. And naturally, there will be upgrades to fire-safety, security, telecommunications, and heating, air conditioning, and ventilating systems.

Those are just a few of my thoughts. I welcome yours.

Ever,
~~Basia